A word of warning - I'm about to have a self-pitying moment, so don't feel you have to read on!!
I haven't posted for a while. I don't know why, but I just haven't felt that I've had anything to say. Life has been going on much as usual - visited No 2 son on Saturday, No 1 son came for lunch on Sunday, visited mother-in-law on Monday, went for a first physio treatment for my knee this morning, sewing, stitching, knitting etc. But I've been feeling very low. A combination of things I think have combined to lower my spirits.
I've had CFS for about 18 months now, and I seem to have reached a plateau - better than this time last year, worse than November/December last year, but much the same throughout this year. I try to remain positive, and I know that it's not life threatening, that so many people are going through much worse times, but nonetheless, it's debilitating and frustrating. I had hoped that after a year of retirement I would be ready to look for a voluntary job that would take me out and about, and that I could join some groups that would enable me to meet new people and learn new skills. Instead, I'm stuck at home with just about enough energy to get through the day. Anything out of the ordinary means two or three days of recovery.
I think it's worse at the moment as for so many years at this time of year I've been busy preparing to get back to school, look forward enthusiastically to a new year and a new class.
I've also been struggling with anxiety attacks - DH is planning to take a week off and had been talking about going abroad for a bit of sun. The mere thought of it caused an anxiety attack to flare up. I know we've been away in this country regularly, but I'm always ill, regular as clockwork so it's not easy. Bless him though, he realises how difficult it is for me and is more than happy to give up the idea. And of course that makes me feel so guilty.
Anyway, that's where I am at the moment. If anyone else has CFS or anxiety disorders I'd love to hear from you - I know I'm not alone, but it sometimes feels as if I am.
Enough, enough about my problems. Tomorrow I should be able to share a picture of a shirt I've been making for DH - if it works out. It's ready for a fitting, so fingers crossed. I hope to get out tomorrow to post my bag for Linda's Bag and Bucket Swap, and my first project for the Stitcher's Angel Swap, so I'll soon be able to show those.
Meanwhile, here's another scrap lap quilt that's at the flimsy stage; I should finish it is a day or so.